AUDIO WELCOME

You’re physically active, social, talkative, affectionate, got energy, got a playful edge, sassy, warm, emotionally supportive.  You take care of yourself and move with feminine power, grace, & sophistication.  Bonus points if you’ve got a sharp mind, strong opinions, and never ask for permission to speak or be yourself-- you own it.

• Emotionally single: no active entanglement(s) with an ex
• Stability: Work/job or a path ahead.
• Transportation: A working vehicle (Uber/bus does not count)
• Emotional Intelligence: Emotionally available, past relationships resolved, unafraid of commitment.
• Primary Love Languages: Physical affection and quality time
• Communication: Active listener with the ability to ask insightful questions.  Capable of engaging in reciprocal conversation.
• Conflict Resolution: Handles issues / disagreements through praoctive, respectful, constructive communication.
• Natural born (cis) woman

Women who:

• Emotionally Retreat or Get Overwhelmed Easily
• Use Indirect Communication (Hints, Subtlety)
• Aren’t Certain About Their Own Long-Term Goals
• Are Dismissive Avoidant

You’re drawn to a man who moves with purpose and with certainty in what he wants, composed in how he leads. Someone who plays to win, without having to under cut others. Power in his presence, not having to overcompensate by being loud. Generous without being a push over. In command, never controlling.  Passionate, with a sense of adventure.  You want a man who gives you the space to soften and to ease into your femininity.

You want to feel safe in every sense—emotionally steady, financially secure, physically protected. Mentally challenged. Turned on. Fully seen. Alive.

• Name: RJ (I only go by RJ).  I'll let you know what the "RJ" stands for, if we hit it off.
• Height: 6'1"
• Location: Newport Beach, CA
• Profession: Senior Executive
• Projects: Advocate for Non-Partisan Education Reform
• Education: Bachelor's Degree
• Political Orientation: Independent thinker
• Religion: Spiritual / Guided by Christian ethics and morals
• Physical Attributes: Black hair, brown eyes
• Family: Father to two daughters, ages 9 and 7.  I have them every other weekend.  They reside with their mother for schooling, etc.
• Volunteer Roles: Youth mentor
• Personality: Leads, protects, provides. Trains hard, thinks independently, lives boldly. Emotionally grounded, financially stable, spiritually centered.  I’ve made myself deliberately the way I am, different, because I know the future I’m chasing requires it. 

When it at least comes to these things, I will not let you down.

In a partnership, I commit to:

• Protector – Making sure you feel safe emotionally, mentally, physically, financially through my masculine protector energy, chivalry and also my hard work. 
• Commitment: I don’t half-ass life. I build things that last.  When I choose someone, I’m all in — I commit to what matters — whether it’s my work, my family, or my partner.
• Stability:  I’ve done the work — emotionally, financially, spiritually. I’ve built a life with strong foundations: Emotionally grounded, financially secure, and future-focused.
• Excitement: Always game for a challenge.  Adventure isn’t just travel — it’s mindset.
• Affection & Appreciation: Your feminine energy will be met, matched, and appreciated.  I express love through presence, touch, and attention. 
• Leadership & Loyalty: I lead with calm strength. I protect what I build, and I make time for those who are on my team.
• Decisive & Calm Under Pressure: Under pressure, I move with logic, clarity, and precision. But when it’s time to play or connect—I’m all in. 
• Emotional Intelligence: I listen like a man who gives a damn. I don’t ghost, gaslight, or dodge. I show up fully and expect the same.
• Shared Energy, Not Identical Interests: We don’t need to be carbon copies. But we move together. Moonlit drives. Mental challenges. Quiet mornings or wild nights—we create our rhythm.
• Support: I’ll have your back when life hits hard, and it will. Whether it’s the joy of success or navigating the realities of aging and life's inevitable challenges, I'm your teammate, protector, and unwavering support.
• Gentleman: I believe a gentleman is as such...A man should be a calming presence to the woman he cares about. A man should put others ahead of himself, and make sure he can be in a position to do so.  With me, it's doors opened, I’ll plan the date, make the reservation, and walk on the street side of the sidewalk.  Part of the joy of being a man is doing things for my feminine partner.
• Open: If there’s something you’re needing that I’m not giving, speak up. I’m solid in who I am, but this is a partnership, I can adjust.

In a way, I want to be the man you brag about to your girlfriends. The one who’s got it handled at work, shows up at home, makes you feel safe & supported, and still finds ways to keep you smiling. Imperfect, sure, but always putting in the effort. I engineered myself to be different, because I don't want to be average.

Here’s what I'm looking for, and give in return:
– Direct communication, especially when there's conflict, something feels off, or life gets full. No silent treatments, no games.
– Mutual respect, with no double standards, for space, ambition, family, and finances.

Simple progression from voice call to video call, to in-person meet. 

For me, geography won't hinder the right connection.  I'll drive to you.

I lead with respect (of your boundaries) and move at a grounded pace.
But to be clear: if I’m taking you out, it’s with romantic intention. I’m not here to collect friends or kill time.

Simple, short, fun, energized, warm.  Is there an energy and chemistry match?  If there is, we'll have a longer second date.

Many dates I’ve had felt boring-- as things felt one-sided: the other person not asking questions, not providing any playful or ambitious energy, just coasting like a passenger. A real connection feels like partnership.  And, boring does not create sexual tension.

After our first date, expect to hear from me daily. Whether by text or call. Respond whenever you have time.  No pressure. I believe in consistency, not guesswork.  And, consistency builds trust.

Together, we can build a partnership where:

• Power Couple
• Synergy
  We don’t complete each other—we amplify each other. Together, we move farther, faster, stronger.
• Emotional Depth
  Honest conversations. Daily connection. No small talk.
• Chemistry That Lasts
  That rare connection that doesn’t burn out—it deepens.
• Balanced Polarity
  You thrive in your feminine. I stay rooted in my masculine. That balance? That tension? That’s our rhythm.
• Adventure & Grounding
  We make space for both—spontaneous getaways and quiet nights where the world fades.
• Growth & Grit
  We sharpen each other. Push each other. Give space when space is needed and celebrate when it clicks.
• Family & Future
  We protect what matters. Care for our people. Build real wealth and legacy.

Let’s be that power couple ... Let's build something grand.

ENTJ, Newport Beach. I lead a residential real estate group (land, investment, development) and a foundation based in education reform and youth extracurriculars. I take the same approach to everything I do: steady, intentional, and built for the long term.

Father of two daughters (Because of school they’re based elsewhere during the week, but I see them often as we’re close) and a youth mentor - family, integrity, and legacy are important to me. I train regularly (fitness, martial arts), play synthesizer, read nonfiction, enjoy the occasional adventure, and I’m always up for a deep/meaningful conversation with a sense of humor.

I’m drawn to a feminine, emotionally intelligent woman - warm, affectionate, and proud of how she carries herself. Bonus points if you love cuddling, appreciate when I do things for you (surprises), and can enjoy life with me.  

My friends describe me as ambitious, relentless, compassionate.  

Strengths Finders describes me as Command, Ideation, Strategic, Duty, & Responsibility.

DISC profile describes me as Creative, Dominant

Myers Briggs type is ENTJ: (The Commander) Extraversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judging.

My primary Love Languages are physical touch, then quality time, then words of appreciation.

Communication style: Assertive  

Enneagram: 1 (99% match), 3 (89% match), 8 (78% match), 2 (69% match), 4 (64% match), 6 (85% match), 5 (76% match), 7 (63% match), 9 (50% match)

Emotional Intelligence Test (PsychologyToday): 82% (82 out of 100)

Attachment Style: Secure Attachment

Top (5) Words to Describe Me: Competitive, Strategic, Commanding, Grounded, Dynamic

I have two daughters between the ages of 7 and 10.  If you have kids, that's fine with me. 

I have 20+ years of experience as a senior executive in my industry, real estate & construction.  I design and build communities from the ground up--turning raw land into neighborhoods, designing parks, naming streets, etc..

• Dancing: Salsa and ballroom.
• Musician: Synthesizer
• Mentorship: I guide young adults and fathers into a place of strength, purpose, and accountability.
• Martial Arts: Discipline. Movement. Control.
• Quantum Mechanics/Physics: I'm fascinated by what’s beneath the surface of our perceived reality.
• Philosophy: I’m fascinated by what & who we are and where we’re going.
• Humor: Comedy clubs. Dry, deadpan comedy is favorite. Seinfeld, Parks & Rec, etc..
• Fitness: Training is my meditation.
• Conversations: I dont do small talk.  Intellectual/meaningful conversations.
• Adventure:  living boldly through travel/adventure/experiences. 
• Favorites:
• 🎵 “Supersonic” by Oasis, “California Love” by Tupac
• 🎥 It’s a Wonderful Life, The Shawshank Redemption
• 📺 Billions, Star Trek, Seinfeld, Parks & Rec, and documentaries on history, business, and the human mind

• Ideas that challenge the way we think & what we know: life, the science of quantum mechanics, and mind-bending “what ifs”
• Human behavior: why people do what they do, and how we evolve as individuals and societies
• History and Politics: from ancient empires to modern geopolitical concept and their merits
• Business and real estate: not just the deals, but the strategy and long game
• Spirituality: philosophy, religious myths, rituals, what grounds us, and what gives life meaning

I am intent on saving the world, in my own way... through education reform.   IThat is, reforming education curriculums to include lessons in real world skills, emphasis on mental health, and leveraging technology to allow students to learn at their own pace.  I aim to help foster a world where my daughters — and all kids — can grow up in a world where they’re empowered, prepared, and protected.

• Watching sports (I’m more into action than spectating, but I’ll make an exception for you.)
• Lateness without a heads-up
• Shallow small talk — I like real conversations, not just filler
• One-sided effort — if I’m the only one asking questions, I’m out
• Assumptions, snap judgments, or generalizations
• Smoking

I’ve been told I can come across as intimidating or hard to read, at first, especially when I’m deep in thought or pushing through a stressful week.   Please be patient with me.

• So many go for instant gratification...I’m not for the woman chasing the thrill of her own chemical reactions, which are heavily dependent on her own current state of mind. I’m for the one who senses there’s more underneath.
• If you’re someone who values substance over flash, a man who lives in alignment with his words, and recognizes that the best investments take a second look, we’re aligned. 

• When I’m passionate about something, I tend to sometimes dominate the conversation. If I do, feel free to speak up. I value women who bring energy and insight to the table.
• I’m calm and steady by nature, and sometimes that makes me seem hard to read. If you ever wonder where I stand, ask.
• When life throws stress my way, I might get quiet — not distant, just realigning. I’ll always make the effort to reconnect and stay grounded with you.
• I may not always have the perfect words, but you can count on me to offer emotional support and stand by you.
• If I ever fail to meet expectations, just let me know and we'll figure it out together.

• My last relationship was about 15 years. Why did my ex and I Divorce? We lost our connection after becoming parents, struggled with mismatched communication & personalities, and grew apart as our differences became more impactful over time.

• I’d like to get re-married one day.

• I’ve never been arrested, No DUIs, Never hit anyone with my car.
• Last time I got a traffic ticket was a “California stop” over 20 years ago.
• Heads up: There's someone in Orange County with a similar name who has a restraining order—that's definitely not me.  I do not know him and I do not know the other party.

Everyone says communication matters. Few actually practice it.

What I value is simple: if something’s off, speak. If something’s unclear, ask.
Most things -- misunderstandings, mismatches, missed signals are fixable with clarity and mutual respect.

If you’re the kind of woman who can speak openly, listen deeply, and hold space for real honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, then you’re exactly the type I want to build with.

I move with an old-school kind of masculinity—the kind that doesn’t compete with femininity, but protects it, honors it, and draws power from its presence.

A real man takes care of his people, acts with generosity, stays calm when pressure hits, and owns his missteps without excuse.

He doesn’t need to be loud to be respected.
He doesn’t break others down to feel strong.
And he knows that real power isn’t force—it’s restraint, precision, and presence.

Modern dating’s full of contradictions.
Be available—but not too soon. Be strong—but not too cold.
Show you care—but act like you don’t. Play coy.

I don’t move like that.

I heard a quote "The power in all relationships lies in whomever cares less. The power isnt happiness.  I think that maybe happiness cromes from caring more about people rather than less." I don’t fake disinterest to bait attention.  I don’t pretend not to care to gain control. That’s not strength, that’s insecurity wearing strategy.

Between two otherwise same guys, one guy plays "hard to get" and another guy is emotionally open-- the guy playing "hard to get" is just playing with your emotions. Wake up. That's not sexy, that's manipulation.

I am who I am and with intention. I worked and continue to work to become the man I wish the world had more of. That is, Grounded. Driven. Honest. Emotionally fluent. Physically capable. I didn’t engineer myself to gain approval, I aligned myself with values I believe this world needs more of.

If you’re a woman who values emotional depth and masculine leadership in the same man, we’re already speaking the same language.

I wish women appreciated how hard it is for us men to open up and be vulnerable, in a dynamic environment, & still come off as masculine and strong.  It's a tight-rope walk.

If you’re emotionally mature enough to embrace a real connection without flinching when it gets meaningful, we’ll get along perfectly.

I’ve met women who came with chaos—addictions, legal battles, no direction, no drive, no energy, no empathy, no compassion. Some wanted to be pampered without offering substance. Some tried to mold me into their ideal.  I’ve never put a woman through what I’ve been through.

Not just from personal experience but seeing others, people seem to give up way too easily and aren't willing to do the work, when the entire point of a relationship is to do the work--- but together.
No matter how great the connection is, there's still going to be work.

And if nothing else, my goal is simple: If you’ve spent time with me, even if it didn’t work out, we are each better for it.

I’m naturally very affectionate.  I honor boundaries and am always open to adjusting if I come on too strong.  The total connection is most important.

I do not ask a woman to enter into a relationship, with me, until I am sure I can honor it fully.  I believe in clarity, so if it feels like we’re headed toward a relationship, I’ll ask toward making it official.  

To me, being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship isn’t about labels, it’s about clarity, respect, and commitment. We each still have our own space, our own friends, our own lives.  No demands, no unreasonable expectations. Just means that we agree to solely date eachother, that we are there for each other, and at least for some sort of contact daily (text/call/whatever).
This isn’t about obligation. It’s about waking up and choosing each other daily. Because we want to.
I admire someone who wants to sort through things together.

I have committed to and loved a few women in my life and they still have my respect.  Because they chose me, and we chose eachother and we built each other up. 

I see conflict as an opportunity for growth, if handled effectively. I stay calm, give the benefit of the doubt, and stay open to feedback. Misunderstandings don’t rattle me, they reveal where deeper connection can happen.

If something’s wrong, whether it’s something I did or something you're feeling, it's ok to tell me directly. I won’t shut down, get defensive, make you regret your honesty, or throw it back at you. I’ll listen, I’ll try to understand, and I’ll take responsibility where it’s mine.

Let’s Talk (For Real)
I’m going to ask you what your favorite topics are to talk about. If your answer is “I can talk about everything,” we’re not going to be aligned. No one, myself included, knows everything. I’m not looking to lecture or teach; I’m looking to exchange ideas with someone who brings something to the table.

Substance Matters
Intelligence is sexy.  I tend to be sapiosexual. If you lean on looks and vibes alone, but can’t back up your opinions with insight, experience, or curiosity, this won’t work. 

Not everything written online or conveyed through third parties ever reflects the full story.  Among other things, it can reflect someone else’s unresolved, false, or one-sided story.   If you ever come across something, I ask for one thing: perspective. I’d rather you ask me about it and let me respond.  I’m not afraid of questions.  That’s how I live and how I lead.

I am aware that my ex-wife has posted some mean and false things about me online.  Fortunately, they are easy for me to refute.

To provide some context--- at the latter part of my marriage, I experienced a controlling/double-standard dynamic during separation (including being told I wasn’t “allowed” to date before the divorce was final) and I state clearly that, from my perspective, dating while separated is not cheating. That was then and now, I am Divorced. She also made specific false claims that have no evidence or findings, and that I can provide documents to verify. However, I do acknowledge the real flaws I had at that time (being blunt, getting absorbed in work/stress, not always communicating/validating well).

Much of what’s been said publicly leaves out key context and that context makes all the difference. For example, I’ve had someone post negatively after I kindly said we weren’t the right fit. I’ve also had someone criticize me online even though she told me privately that she agreed with most of what I’d written, while also trying to get money from me for companionship.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you!

Now you know where I stand.
Truth shows itself eventually, so I’d rather lead with it.
If we’re not aligned, better to know now than waste time pretending.

If you want to be and feel safe, wanted, inspired, supported, seen, and alive, in a partnership built on trust, chemistry and mutual respect, then let’s talk. 

And if I'm not the right fit for you, no hard feelings.  I wish you well.

The next move is yours.